what have you got to do if most of those irrational visitors are your manager(s) you happen to report to?

It's an entirely different issue if you're being paid to run the site. From the sound of it Jazz's site isn't run to make money.

Secondly, managers are never irrational, they're infallible. If for some reason a developer can't understand their manager's reasoning, it's either because they are simply intellectually inferior to the manager or that they have less information about the true goal of the project. Take Java for example, they obviously have some confidential information that justifies it's use for even the most seemingly unsuitable projects.

If you still think it's necessary to please a few logic-impaired visitors, use the php system but change the file extensions to .pl, they'll never know ;-).