I used to always download the latest Linux kernel when it was announced on Slashdot. Ever since I stopped reading Slashdot regularly, I've been missing new releases. I've been meaning to write something like this for a while now. Thanks for posting it.

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I wanted to explore how Perl's closures can be manipulated, and ended up creating an object system by accident.
-- Schemer

Note: All code is untested, unless otherwise stated