I think we have the answer for this behavior. See the comment further down and this. It seems that the time the script starts is factored into the age of the file. Still trying to wrap my head around it, though. Seems weird.
$PM = "Perl Monk's";
$MCF = "Most Clueless
Friar Abbot Bishop Pontiff Deacon Curate Priest Vicar";
$nysus = $PM . ' ' . $MCF;
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