if                                                        (
        "you are at work"                         ) {
        And: you-have-spare-time;
                                                          }
write "Perl poems" unless "you can't";
  if                                                      (
  "you can't"  
                                           ){
READ: Llama;
  THEN: learn-Perl;
        THEN: program-Perl;
                THEN: live-Perl;
        THEN: breathe-Perl;
  LAUGH: at-python;
SCOFF: PHP;
                                                                     }
write "a script";
write "a module";
hack,
        hack,
                hack;
then: one-day;
on,
        your,
                resume,you, can;
       print                                                          "
        I am Just Another Perl Hacker
";