Actually, this sloppy module (well part of it) exists! It's called Symbol-Approx-Sub (from a new saint) and it allows calling subs with approximate name.
Now, that could be useful if it could switch on automatically at predefined hours (until 1st caffeine shot, ...), but then I guess you'll have to interface your coffee machine with this module.
<kbd>--
PerlMonger::Paris(http => ' paris.pm.org');</kbd>
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