JARRING CHORD
The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain --=Macphisto=-- enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles --=Ovid=-- has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang --=buzzcutbuddha=-- is just Cardinal Fang

Machipsto: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Larry the I.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

The Inquisition exits

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

JARRING CHORD

The cardinals burst in

Machipsto: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Larry I, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! To Cardinal Biggles I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Ovid: What?
Machipsto: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Ovid: rather horrified: I couldn't do that...

Machipsto bundles the cardinals outside again

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

JARRING CHORD

The cardinals enter

Ovid: Er.... Nobody...um....
Machipsto: Expects...
Ovid: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Machipsto: Inquisition.
Ovid: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Machipsto: Our chief weapons are...
Ovid: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Machipsto: Surprise...
Ovid: Surprise and --
Machipsto: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
buzzcutbuddha: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Ovid: That's enough.
To Cleveland Now, how do you plead?
Clevelnd: We're innocent.
Machipsto: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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