I've tried downloading various different archive files and sticking the PM files into perl/bin and I've tried various different installers but I can never get any of it to work because the instructions aren't clear enough.

Did you try cpan? (or ppm if you use Active Perl)? (BTW, you didn't state which Perl do you actually use. There are many Perl builds for Windows with different abilities)

- Hey dude, I think this module would be better for you

GD and Image::Magick are good enough.

- download it here (direct link or link to site and specify which version I should get, ie: is compatible and has all the basics of point 2...)

Both of them can be downloaded via cpan.

- run the installer -- or -- put the files here and type this in the command prompt to compile it

cpan will install them, too.

- here's a quick sample set of basic functions

Here you are: GD Image::Magick