I have proposed (with no success)

Where did you propose?

I have sent the following patch to the maintainer of ExtUtils-MakeMaker

diff -u -r t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-6.62/lib/ExtUtils/MakeMaker
+.pm
t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-modified/lib/ExtUtils/MakeMaker.pm
--- t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-6.62/lib/ExtUtils/MakeMaker.pm
2012-04-01 09:02:31.450034700 +0200
+++ t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-modified/lib/ExtUtils/MakeMaker.pm
2012-04-01 09:03:05.508694300 +0200
@@ -620,17 +620,13 @@
     $argv =~ s/^\[/(/;
     $argv =~ s/\]$/)/;

+    push @{$self->{RESULT}}, $self->makefile_head;
     push @{$self->{RESULT}}, <<END;
-# This Makefile is for the $self->{NAME} extension to perl.
-#
-# It was generated automatically by MakeMaker version
+# This file was generated automatically by MakeMaker version
 # $VERSION (Revision: $Revision) from the contents of
 # Makefile.PL. Don't edit this file, edit Makefile.PL instead.
 #
-#       ANY CHANGES MADE HERE WILL BE LOST!
-#
 #   MakeMaker ARGV: $argv
-#
 END

     push @{$self->{RESULT}},
$self->_MakeMaker_Parameters_section(\%initial_att);
diff -u -r t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-6.62/lib/ExtUtils/MM_Any.pm
t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-modified/lib/ExtUtils/MM_Any.pm
--- t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-6.62/lib/ExtUtils/MM_Any.pm    201
+2-04-01
09:05:27.800943800 +0200
+++ t:/makeMaker/ExtUtils-MakeMaker-modified/lib/ExtUtils/MM_Any.pm
2012-04-01 09:09:10.771335900 +0200
@@ -382,6 +382,38 @@
     return $make;
 }

+=head2 Preludes
+
+These are methods which produce things early in the Makefile.
+
+
+=head3 makefile_head
+
+Generate the head of the Makefile.
+
+=cut
+
+sub makefile_head {
+    my $self = shift;
+
+    my $target_make_program_index = $self->is_make_type('dmake')? 1 :
+    $self->is_make_type('nmake')? 2 : 0;
+    my $target_make_program = ('make', 'dmake',
'nmake')[$target_make_program_index];
+    my $sudo_prefix = ('sudo ', '', '')[$target_make_program_index];
+
+    return <<END;
+# This Makefile is for the $self->{NAME} extension to perl.
+#
+# DO NOT EDIT! ANY CHANGES MADE IN THIS FILE WILL BE LOST!
+#
+# Typical usage:
+#    perl Makefile.PL
+#    ${target_make_program}
+#    ${target_make_program} test
+#    ${sudo_prefix}${target_make_program} install
+#
+END
+}

 =head2 Targets
[download]

I have also ask for guidance where to add the following:

1. Add these definition to (GNU)make and dmake Makefiles.
   It should be added EARLY in the Makefile.
   "Direct" call from the constructor or part of a section or a new MakeMaker section or ... ?

   
   # --- MakeMaker ???? section:
   
   ifeq "{xxx}" "xxx"
   MAKE_USED = dmake
   endif
   
   ifneq "$(.VARIABLES)" ""
   MAKE_USED = gnumake
   endif
   [download]

2. Add a snippet somewhere in Makefiles for nmake.
   It is a trap if other make programs are used

   !IF 0
   This makefile is intended to be used by nmake
   !ENDIF
   [download]

   Should this be a "direct" call from the constructor, a part of a section or a new MakeMaker section or ... ?
3. Add the target check_run_conditions to the top targets

   # --- MakeMaker top_targets section:
   all :: check_run_conditions pure_all
   $(NOECHO) $(NOOP)
   [download]

   Probably modification of the method all_target in MM_Any.pm and MM_Unix.pm
4. Add the actions for target check_run_conditions
   The code will look something like:

   push @{$self->{RESULT}},
   '',
   '# --- MakeMaker check_run_conditions section:',
   'check_run_conditions ::';
   
   if($target_make_program eq 'make'){
   push @{$self->{RESULT}},
   'ifeq "$(MAKE_USED)" "dmake"',
   '# Note! The message is NOT sent to STDERR',
   ' $(NOECHO)echo ERROR: Using $(MAKE_USED) for a Makefile intended 
   for '
   .${target_make_program},
   ' $(assign ERR OR = ERROR) #Generates an error message',
   'endif';
   }
   
   if($target_make_program eq 'dmake'){
   push @{$self->{RESULT}},
   'ifeq "$(MAKE_USED)" "gnumake"',
   ' $(NOECHO)$(error ERROR: Using $(MAKE_USED) for a Makefile 
   intended for '
   .${target_make_program}.'.)',
   'endif';
   }
   
   “otherwise” {
   push @{$self->{RESULT}},
   ' $(NOECHO) $(NOOP)';
   }
   [download]

   Should this be a part of a section or a new MakeMaker section or ?
For background see also Ideas on more foolproof Makefile.PL and generated Makefile.

Thank you for the good and detailed answer

Helen