I read your epistle with passing interest, sirrah, as we (you and I) seem both to be gifted (or cursed mayhap, as the curse on the old cask which brings its lusty fruit more regular on the parted lip) with that noble gift of true and trusy toungue. Your humble servant has been unjustly accused of erudition for its own sake, an particularly oafish saying, which barbs do linger still in my aching flesh. Certes, I do from time to time wax eloquent and draw glances from the lowly lidded eye; that is my simian, and it is couched on my shoulder and none other.
In reading your soliloquest (for goal you must have had, else why soliloquize in parte primus), I was minded of a utility that has aided my intercourse with those unaccustomed to our mode of rhetoric. Your servant offers it here for your perusal.

#!usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
srand;
my @line;
my $index;
my $particle;
my @vocabulary = ("uh", "er", "ummm", "ahhhh", "rhubarb");
while(<>) {
   @line = split (/ /,$_);
   foreach(@line) {
      $index = rand 5;
      $particle = $vocabulary[$index];
      s/.{1,}/$particle/g;
   }
   $_ = join (' ',@line);
   print;
}
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Your Servant,

Simplicus