No, it's all good. The essence of the problem* is that you're more intent on selling us your special brand of non-Perl snake oil, rather than learning how to maximize your Perl power. If we wanted other programming languages, we already have Ruby/Scheme/Java/C#/Haskell/etc. And as pathetic as your language is relative to Perl, it's at least as pathetic relative to these other real programming languages.
* The problem being you not getting along too well with this community.
I reckon we are the only monastery ever to have a dungeon stuffed with 16,000 zombies
.