I guess that wasn't so bad.

use English '-no_match_vars';

sub dbh {
    state $dbh;
    state $dbh_pid;

    if ( defined $dbh_pid && $PROCESS_ID != $dbh_pid ) {
        my $child_dbh = $dbh->clone;

        $dbh->{InactiveDestroy} = 1;
        $dbh = $child_dbh;
        $dbh_pid = $PROCESS_ID;

        $L->debug( "cloned database connection in PID $dbh_pid" );
    }

    if ( ! defined $dbh ) {
        my ($u,$p) = ('user',':)');
        $dbh = DBI->connect(
            "dbi:Sybase:server=sql.example.com",
            $u, $p, { RaiseError => 1 },
        );
        $dbh->do( $initialization_stuff );
        $dbh_pid = $PROCESS_ID;

        $L->debug( "made new database connection in PID $dbh_pid" );
    }

    return $dbh;
}
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