News of current disasters hidden in 1st Monasterians

This section has been unusually silent: no new obfuscated code for seventy-seven days. It is thus fitting that we contemplate together the words of the silent monk who demonstrated us the virtue of patience.

use warnings; use strict; use Math::BigInt;
our $scripture = q{

The First Letter of Erudil to the Monasterians
[download]

1  Erudil,  a  hacker  of   Perl,   To
Vroom,   the  saints,   and  all   the
dwellers   of   the    Monastery:    2
Mercy,  peace   and   love   be  yours
in  abundance. 3 It  is  now  a little
more  than two years  since  I  joined
this community of believers  in  Perl,
and my appreciation  of this place and
its custodians and  members  continues
to grow.  4  Brothers  and sisters,  I
beseech   you  to   continue  fighting
the good fight,  showing patience  and
understanding  to those  who  come  to
the gates  of our  blessed  Monastery,
bereft  of   clues  and   ignorant  of
our ways.  5  Do not rebuke them  with
harsh   words   such  as  "RTFM",  but
rather lead  them  gently  - with URLs
-  so  that they may  learn  wisdom. 6
Suffer  the newbies to  come  unto us,
instructing them  of  the  many truths
contained   within   the  good   book.
7  For who  among us  has  never  been
in  a state  of  error or ignorance? 8
Consider carefully  the  following:  9
Blessed  are they that "use  strict;",
for  their   typos  shall   be  caught
before trouble arises. 10  Blessed are
they that  use "-w",  for  Perl itself
shall  show  them  the error of  their
ways. 11 Blessed are  they  that  "use
CGI;", for their parameters  shall  be
passed  without error. 12  Blessed are
they  that use  CPAN, for  exceedingly
large shall be the  number  of  wheels    
that they do not re-invent.
[download]

13  Blessed  are  they that understand
regexs,  for  they  shall   waste   no
time   trying   to   parse  HTML.   14
Blessed  are you, when  "they"  insult
you and  ridicule you,  and  speak all
manner  of   evil   against   you  for
using Perl,  for  great  will  be your
reward  when  your project is finished
in  less  time,  and with less effort.
15  If there are those  who refuse  to
accept  our wonderful message, do  not
allow   them  to  draw   you  into   a
fruitless  flame   war,  and   thereby
bring  disrepute  upon  yourselves and
our   Monastery.   16  Remember  well:
"What should it profit  a man,  if  he
should  win a flame war, yet lose  his
cool?".   17  If  this   is  an   area
of  weakness   for  you,   as   it  is
for   me,   then   I  would  encourage
you,   my   fellow  Monasterians,   to
consider  a   vow  of   silence  as  I
have done,  speaking rarely  and  with
words  carefully  chosen to edify  and
inform. 18  Brothers  and  sisters,  I
commend  you once again for  restoring
my faith  in  the idea  of  a  viable,
on-line  community.  And  now,  19 May
your   syntax    always   be   correct
and your  algorithms efficient. 20 May
your  references point  to  good data,
and  may  you  grow in  the  knowledge
and  understanding   of  our   beloved
language, Perl. 21 Amen and amen.
[download]

};
my $r = Math::BigInt->bzero;
for (split /^/, $scripture) {
    my($k, $n, $b, $v, $h, $p) = (-1, (0)x5);
    for (unpack "(A)*", $_) { 
        if (ord) { 
            if ($p) {
                $n++; 
                eval {
                    if ($p % 2) { 
                        $b *= $n / ++$k;
                    } else { 
                        $v += $b; 
                        $b *= $n / ($n - $k);
                    } 
                } or $b = $p % 2;
            }
            $p = 0;
        } else {
            $p++;
        }
    }
    eval { 
        $r *= $b * ($n - $k) / ($k + 1);
        $r += $v;
    };
}
while ($r) {
    print+(" ", "a" .. "z")[($r->bdiv(23))[1]];
}
print "\n";
__END__
[download]

Update 2010-12-19: tried to fix motivational sentence at the beginning to be more meaningful. Not sure it worked.

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