A single reference? here you go: KISS
For the record: I use the Eclipse IDE. It's not perfect but I got used to it. It can be extended with plugins. There are tons of available plugins, see for example Eclipse plugins, and it's not too difficult to develop your own plugins. An added bonus is that it's platform independent (I used it on Windows and Linux and currently on the Mac) and that you can use it for basically any programming language. Whatever tools and approach you use the keyword is consistency.
It seems you are looking for perfection... Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. Salvador Dali