I was actually randomly approached by a potential employer half way accross the country- maybe a year ago. Likely offering a pay raise- as well as a more challenging working environment. I looked around- and I thought- I can't be such an a****le to leave like this- and I had my hot shot ivy league gf working a city over. The gf dumped me- the work- well.. the work.

I guess my office and street smarts didn't keep up with my fledgeling unix hacknicity.

Someone should write a good book about a balance between 'keeping the distance' and being a professional. Maybe Duncan gave it a try. I don't know that he talks enough about some of this, though.

Again, thank you for your points. They are of use, and I will think about them.