Then I tried Perl::Critic which has an almost comically-long list of dependencies and it failed almost all of them:
ADAMK/Test-Object-0.07.tar.gz : make NO
ADAMK/Class-Inspector-1.18.tar.gz : make NO
ADAMK/Test-ClassAPI-1.04.tar.gz : make NO
DCONWAY/Hook-LexWrap-0.20.tar.gz : make NO
ADAMK/Test-SubCalls-1.07.tar.gz : make NO
ADAMK/Task-Weaken-1.02.tar.gz : make NO
RDF/Clone-0.28.tar.gz : make NO
ADAMK/PPI-1.201.tar.gz : make NO
JJORE/B-Keywords-1.08.tar.gz : make NO
DARREN/String-Format-1.14.tar.gz : make NO
VPARSEVAL/List-MoreUtils-0.21.tar.gz : make NO
GAAS/IO-String-1.08.tar.gz : make NO
ROODE/Readonly-1.03.tar.gz : make NO
with the same error. Can't copy, dmake error 130, pm_to_blib, <whatever>.tar.gz make : no.
Nobody says perl looks like line-noise any more
kids today don't know what line-noise IS ...