Perhaps what I am against is stored procedures used badly. I will freely admit that badly is the only way I have seen them used to date, but I'll concede that it may be possible to use them in a less problematic way that I have not seen.
I will stand by this, though: in the absense of strong evidence that a
particular section of code is causing a user-noticeable performance issue,
the maintainability of the code is more important than its speed.
Sanity? Oh, yeah, I've got all kinds of sanity. In fact, I've developed whole new kinds of sanity. You can just call me "Mister Sanity". Why, I've got so much sanity it's driving me crazy.