You may be right ... perhaps I was just cranky when I posted that comment yesterday. It is allergy season for me, here. :)

I guess what really busted my chops was the 'at all' part of the "You're not a programmer at all" quote ... I just don't see any way not to take that as an unkind slur, no matter what the self-perceived skill level is. Clearly someone who is 'coding' is at least trying to be some kind of a programmer. Of course, in my rather narrow little world, I assume that everyone wants to be a programmer. :)

But as you say, I would help a programmer differently than I would help a 'normal' person, so it is important to find out with whom one is dealing.