Beefy Boxes and Bandwidth Generously Provided by pair Networks
XP is just a number

Re: Lesson for grasshopper haiku

by zentara (Archbishop)
on Mar 02, 2006 at 15:24 UTC ( #533921=note: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

in reply to Lesson for grasshopper haiku

UPDATE: I see now, the "" sounds like a single syllable. Trying additions to second line. But kutsu,convinced me, using alot of good haiku-talk, that it is Ok. :-)

A wise monk mentioned that line 2 only contained 6 syllables. I hear 7...

Does a syllable that rolls off the tongue, make a sound? Maybe grasshopper needs to listen to his own ears? :-)

Comments welcome.

I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. flash japh

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re^2: Lesson for grasshopper haiku
by kutsu (Priest) on Mar 02, 2006 at 15:47 UTC

    Since the requirement is 5, 7, 5 mora, not syllables, that seems acceptable. Though I don't see a kigo (season word) anywhere. Maybe add a second verse for that:

    Flowing as water Filling quick the emptiness Swift the fingers move

    ++ for the neat poem. (I don't like the added "are" it doesn't flow as well IMHO).

      Yeah, I though about "completely contained within" would be better, but I thought it might be stretched to 8. What do you think?

      I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. flash japh

        By my count that could be 7 or 9 mora (English being a much harder language to find mora in then Japanese) but as I was explained within 1 syllable on the second verse is acceptable for an English language haiku. Besides this is perlmonks not poemmonks so as long as it's close and about perl, it's good enough for me. :)

Log In?

What's my password?
Create A New User
Domain Nodelet?
Node Status?
node history
Node Type: note [id://533921]
and the web crawler heard nothing...

How do I use this? | Other CB clients
Other Users?
Others avoiding work at the Monastery: (2)
As of 2021-10-23 02:48 GMT
Find Nodes?
    Voting Booth?
    My first memorable Perl project was:

    Results (86 votes). Check out past polls.