• 20 points for naming something after yourself.
  Check (though the title of The Ovidian Transform was intended as a joke)
• Low points for mentioning Larry Wall, Damian Conway, or Randal Schwartz
  Check
• Medium points for saying "Design pattern"
  Check
• Medium points for using source filters without being Damian, or using them in production.
  Check
• High points for creating a non-Inline module to make Perl code look like the code from some other language.
  Check
• Medium points for writing a database abstraction layer.
  Check
• Medium points for suggesting some random functionality needs to be in the Perl core.
  Check
• Low points for using map or grep in void context.
  Check
• Low points for parsing HTML with a regex.
  Check

You may now feel free to disregard anything else I say (well, many do that anyway, possibly with good reason.)