don't tell me it sucks

Why not? Don't you want to improve?

Please, allow me. Here goes.

Your script is not obfuscated at all. Looking at the code, there is no doubt that it is going to print a number. Therefore it is not clever, nor subtle or disguised. It is just plain and dull.

That said, here is some advice for you to read before you rush to publish your next posts.

HTH