It sounds as if you don't want any static content at all. Use mod_redirect to redirect any URL with a /$ in it to /cgi-bin/main.cgi (or whatever) and you're good.
For the record, I don't think you should require your users to have a randomly-selected template. Providing different skins is a good thing, but the user should be in control of how s/he views your site. It's your information, but it's their eyes. Additionally, what if the user is color-blind? One time, they see a green and blue site (which is fine), then the next time they see a green and red site (which isn't fine). Uh-oh ...
Being right, does not endow the right to be rude; politeness costs nothing.
Being unknowing, is not the same as being stupid.
Expressing a contrary opinion, whether to the individual or the group, is more often a sign of deeper thought than of cantankerous belligerence.
Do not mistake your goals as the only goals; your opinion as the only opinion; your confidence as correctness. Saying you know better is not the same as explaining you know better.
