in reply to Help me understand...

since no one else has seen fit to respond to this... : )

Obviously, many monks much more venerable and astute than we have given and regularly do give thought to this. So if you feel a bit confused, you're doing it right. ; )

The only things I would add to this are:

If you're asking questions like this - you must be doing all right. I always feel that it is the person who is doing things correctly that worries over it - I often do just that as well. No sparks here. : )

-- I'm a solipsist, and so is everyone else. (think about it)