If Perl were a man:

• You wouldn't need CPAN. Perl would only "require" beer, food, sex, and sleep.
• Command line switches would all start with "-Are you in the mood, Honey?"
• Scripts could use maps but would have help disabled.
• Hashes would be piped in.
• Date functions would result in memory leaks.
• Two different scripts running on the same computer would cause a race condition.

Anneq

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