Thanks again, everyone for taking part. I'm getting a faint, distant hint of an inkling that not everyone likes XSLT or even XML...
The reason I'm having to get to grips with it is that there are voices lobbying for XSLT to be used as the transformation language for the new Content Management System where I work.
It would of course be better than making up Yet Another Templating Language ourselves, but in most other ways I'm distinctly unhappy about it...
($_='kkvvttuubbooppuuiiffssqqffssmmiibbddllffss')
=~y~b-v~a-z~s; print