The code is pretty bad but the text that I was going to use was even worse!

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
goto the_end;
print "Wakka wakka wakka!\n";
the_middle: goto somewhere_else;
$_='\x045\x067\x088\x069';
spaghetti: goto cheese;
print eval($_);
burger: goto with_fries;
print "can't catch me!\n";
$!=3;
covered_in_gravy: goto and_salt;
do_not: goto go;
print "Collect $200!";
stop: goto circles;
squares: $_="Just Another Perl Hacker\n";
my $japh=die($_);
goto &$japh;
circles: goto squares;
$_="He's evil I tell you!";
go: goto stop;
$^=5;
and_salt: goto do_not;
print "Evil is afoot!\n";
dump;
with_fries: goto covered_in_gravy;
$"=',';
cheese: goto burger;
@_=qw(who is your daddy?);
somewhere_else: goto spaghetti;
print "Booyah!\n";
the_end: goto the_middle;
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