And bingo, that's the key here: everything depends solely on what *I* believe is important. Only *I* can create an impact on my life, only *I* can make the important decisions that will take me somewhere. It's all me... yet at the same time, I feel so helpless! There is absolutely no way that anybody understands how often I think about what I've done here, about the countless events that *I* have chosen to create and partake in.

Not exactly. Sure you play an important role in what happens because you are the one making the decisions. However, you are not the only one who has an impact on your life! Everyone that you come into contact with has an impact on your life, no matter how seemingly insignificant an impact that may be. Over time, *everyone else* helps mold who you become.

As far as the hopelessness, I think that everyone experiences that. Some people more than others. Mr. Muskrat stands up and announces "Hi, I'm Mr. Muskrat and I too have felt so hopeless." I'm sending you a private message mt2k.