sub ruhroh {
  @_ = map {
    my @words = split(/\s/);
    foreach my $word (@words) {
      $word =~ s/^([aeiou])/r$1/ and next;
      $word =~ s/^([AEIOU])/'R' . lc($1)/e and next;
      $word =~ s/^[a-z][^aeiou]?/r/ and next;
      $word =~ s/^[A-Z][^aeiou]?/R/;
    }
    join(' ', @words);
  } @_;
  push @_, ', Raggy!';
  goto &croak;
}
[download]

ruhroh("And I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you m
+eddling kids");
[download]

Rand Ri'd rave rotten raway rith rit, roo, rif rit reren't ror rou red
+dling rids, Raggy! at test_ruhroh.pl line 5
[download]

stephen

Update: A little testing made me change my scheme entirely...