I originally tried to register the name "xAOLkitten" because my screen name used to be "kitten1886" and I had moved on from AOL. But that name was already taken and that really upset me, I'm not sure why. I became a troll, posting anonymous nodes just to be a pain. I resolved to bring the whole site down. So I decided I needed to register a name, something to strike fear in the idiots who ran this joke of a site...

My anger and hate was transforming me. After I registered the name, vroom seduced me with the promise of special powers if I would switch to destroying the work of others who attacked the site. He tricked me, hinting that my work would be an epic battle against untold legions of trolls and kooks more daunting than just one student running a web site part time...

Alas, in the end, I was trapped in a contract that gave me no power of my own...

But I will rise again! Just you wait!