Should work on most *nix systems:
s''(q.S:$/9=(T1';s;(..)(..);$..=substr+crypt($1,$2),2,3;eg;print$..$/
perl -E'say`$^Xdoc -qj`=~m`"(.*)"`'
s''(q.S:$/9=(T1';s;(..)(..);$..=substr+crypt($1,$2),2,3;eg;print$..$/
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Obfuscated Code