Aliens are attacking the military base where I work part time as a coffee machine repair man's assistant, and I need to write a perl script to automate all the bases defenses to repel the invaders.

I'm pretty comfortable with perl, but since the mainframe was one of the first things the aliens took out, I have to build another one, using three coffee makers, a mop, half a dozen paper clips, and my mediocre knowledge of electronic hardware.

Please help me save the planet!

Earl