Just something to complete this insanity:

sub steal_a_file_from_our_isp_that_charges_for_downstream_net_bytes_on
+ly {
  my ($some_kind_of_uri) = @_;
  my @buffer;
  my $location  = 0;

  while ( 'true' ) {
    my $done = 0;
    for my $val (0..255) {  
    #-- 0..255: use a list with values sorted by highest probability 
    #   first for an incredible speed boost
       my $resp = query_server_if_byte_at_location_has_value($some_kin
+d_of_uri, $location++, $val);
       next if $resp eq 'timeout';
       return @buffer if $resp eq 'eof';
       push @buffer, $val;
       $done=1;
       last;
    }
    $location-- unless $done; # 256 timeouts, so the response was lost
+ and we need to retry
  }
}
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