LOL nice! :)
A few years back before built-in CI systems were widely available, I built my own, Test::BrewBuild. It runs tests across all Perlbrew Perl instances on Unixy type systems, and all berrybrew Perl instances on Windows. A dispatcher running on the system you're working on orders all listening test servers across the network/Internet to run the unit test suite, and then they all send back their results which are aggregated.
I still use it for running tests on OSs that Github/Travis etc don't offer, and for final full blown suite runs just prior to CPAN upload, where an external CI platform isn't capable for one reason or another to run my entire suite of developer-only tests.