It turns out it doesn't even do what I need. And now I just tried https://metacpan.org/pod/HTML::Scrubber and it doesn't seem to work, either.
$PM = "Perl Monk's";
$MCF = "Most Clueless
Friar Abbot Bishop Pontiff Deacon Curate Priest Vicar";
$nysus = $PM . ' ' . $MCF;
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