Light years are fake news, believe me. I am pretty sure, the alien prez can warp time & space by just putting his signature under a decree using the biggest multi-dimensional fountain pen of all time (bigger than that screwdriver thing of that tramp living in a blue box). It will be the greatest distortion of time & space & reality ever. Everyone will envy them, believe me. And the earthlings will pay for it. It will be fantastic. It will be super FTL! And you know what? He already made it, as this authentic document testifies.

Why do I get the sense you are not where I am. Who is your President and what wormhole are you using to route your ethernet? xD

We have several presidents and one president chancellor to rule them all ;-)

(Edit: Also, we call our chief judges and parliament speakers "presidents")

Next edit: originally I wanted to link to these presidents but got lost in yak hunting

«... what wormhole are you using to route your ethernet?»

The answer is quite easy: I don’t make it so.

«The Crux of the Biscuit is the Apostrophe»

perl -MCrypt::CBC -E 'say Crypt::CBC->new(-key=>'kgb',-cipher=>"Blowfish")->decrypt_hex($ENV{KARL});'Help