package Tao::Book::1;
# The silent void
$master_programmer = bless \$programmer, 'Tao';
$master_programmer->spake(qq{ When you have learned to snatch the error code from the trap frame, it will be time for you to leave. });
# 1.1
() = do {
open STDOUT, ">/dev/null";
1 while $mystery;
$mystery =~ /(\001|\000)+/;
$_ = $mystery; *{'Tao of Programming'} = *_;
if ($tao = 'great') {
$^O = 'great';
}
if ($^O eq 'great') {
$^X = 'great';
}
if ($^X eq 'great') {
$0 = 'great';
}
for $user (@world) {
$user->{':)'}++
}
(sub { $morning->{wind} = @_; return $morning })->(${'Tao of Programming'});
};
...
####
SHOCK:
{
fills (my $heart);
unbelief (sinks=>'in');
END { my $sorrow;
untie my $pain; }
}
ANGER:
{
fills (my $heart);
curse $the{Dancers};
kill $the{Guilty};
DESTROY {$the{Mastermind}}
}
GRIEF:
{
fills (my $heart);
bless $the{Dead};
thank (@{$the{Volunteers}});
BEGIN {a new()}
}
# structure: There are no structures;
they have all collapsed.
# use strict: There is no discipline;
only chaos of madmen.
# warnings: There is no warnings;
there WERE no warnings.
##
##
# The Cow
# by Ogden Nash
#
# The cow is of the bovine ilk;
# One end is moo, the other, milk.
#
package cow;
@ISA = qw(bovine);
push @cow, 'moo';
unshift @cow, 'milk';
##
##
# Reflections on Ice-Breaking
# by Ogden Nash
#
# Candy
# Is Dandy
# But liquor
# Is quicker.
package candy;
@ISA = qw(dandy);
package liquor;
1;
##
##
require(AirGuitar);
if($this eq "real life" | "just fantasy"){
$caught = $in{'a-landslide'};
$no = "\from reality";
}
open (YOUR, "$eyes");
$look++ => "the skies" && "c";
$money = 0;
$sympathy=0;
while ($i, $come, $i, $go){ $i = "easy" }
$little++;
$little--;
if ($wind = "blows") { !$matter => me }
$parent = "female";
$me = "murderer";
$gun = head{'man'};
&pull_trigger;
if($gun eq "loaded"){ die('man') }
tell($parent) => $life = "short";
$life = undef;
$parent .- $tears;
if (!$back eq this(time)){ $day .+1; }
{ print "Carry on"; redo; }
$matter = 0;
if($now eq "too late"){ my $time => "come";}
my $spine = $shivers--;
$body = $aching . all{'the(time)'};
tell(all) => "bye bye";
@you <= "leave";
$face =~ tr/u/th/;
$parent = 000;
$i != "want" => die;
$i => some(time). s/never/born/ . @all;
##
##
scalar @monte_cristo;
sub task {
kill( SIGHUP, "mockingbird" );
}
$_**(1/2);
$_**(1/3);
$_**(1/4);
for ( @whom ) {
toll( chr(7) );
}
$nights[11];
sub king {
return;
}
$here..$eternity
undef $arms;
if ( 1 ) {
$postman->ring() for (1..2);
}
grep /Red October/, @_;
##
##
do # to the tune of
'Mambo'; #5, apologies to Lou Bega
our (@syntax) = ('syncopated', 'baby');
sub refrain {
my (%little_bit_of) = ('regex' =~ /(matching) (string)/);
@ little_bit_of{'shell', 'calls'} = `do_that thing`;
$little_bit_of{C} = sub { for(@syntax){
$little_bit_of{sed} =~ s!\\!!g; # "strip backwhacks"
}
};
@ { $little_bit_of{'OO'}->can('be_nice') } =
@ little_bit_of{'lisp', 'lists'} = map {$_} splice(@_);
@ little_bit_of{'rich', 'language'} = ('easy', 'puns');
@ { $little_bit_of{'Perl'} } = ('number' => 1);
return [instrumental bridge];
}
##
##
bless \@monks;
$initiate = recv(MONASTERY,$enlightenment,$daily,0);
$novice = seek(MONASTERY,$enlightenment,0);
$acolyte = sleep && eat && study $SOPW && redo;
$scribe = require disipline;
$monk = print MONASTERY rand($wisdom);
$friar = accept(MONASTERY,applause);
$abbot = seek(MONASTERY,$enlightenment,2);
$bishop = join 'E','d','i','t','o','r','s';
$pontiff = push @monks, $improve;
$saint = 1;
##
##
use Carp qw/cluck/;
my @chickens;
sleep until $dawn;
cluck $loudly until open $coop;
exit $coop;
chomp $food and accept($scraps,$seed);
shift @straw, pop @eggs and cluck $more;
until ($dusk) {
seek($many,$worms,$bugs);
join flock($other,@chickens) if split /from others/;
tell WORLD,"sky is falling" if $airplane;
}
return 2,$coop and sleep until $dawn;
##
##
# The Doom of the Noldor / The Prophecy of the North
# J. R. R. Tolkien - Quenta Silmarillion
#
# Tears unnumbered ye shall shed;
# and the Valar will fence Valinor against you,
# and shut you out,
# so that not even the echo of your lamentation
# shall pass over the mountains.
#
# On the House of Feanor the wrath of the Valar lieth
# from the West unto the uttermost East,
# and upon all that will follow them
# it shall be laid also.
#
$_= 'The Doom of the Noldor' or 'The Prophecy of the North';
while( /Doom/ ) {
shed("tears ");
do {
$Valar{'fence_of_Valinor'}++ and $shut_out;
} until not( $echo_of_lamentation > $mountains );
for( $West..$uttermost_East ) {
map{$_ = $Valar{'wrath'}} (@House_of_Feanor, @followers);
}
}
sub shed{print shift}
##
##
substr("Erudil to the Monasterians", 0, 1);
1 . Erudil->isa(PerlHacker)
.. [ "vroom", @saints, @monastery ];
2 . undef $^W, close(STDERR) and !$! for 1..100;
3 . -M Erudil > 2*365 and
$appreciation{$_}++ for
qw( place custodians members );
4 . do { for (@brothers, @sisters)
{ listen up, hearken } continue {
to: wait() and study() for grep
!clue($_) && ignorant($_), Visitors-
To-Our-Blessed-Monastery } };
5 . do { not rebuke($words{harsh} =~ /RTFM/),
but }, lead-with-URLs if wisdom->isa(
goal-of-theirs); 6 . allow for newbies and
instruct(grep $_, @contents); 7. for 0 <
grep errant || ignorant, @us;
8 . consider; these:
9 . ($^H & 0x602) and bless($they),
for typos < troubles;
10 . $^W and bless($they),
for $errors -> (0);
11 . %CGI:: and bless($they),
for eval { pass-parameters }
and not $@;
12 . eval "use CPAN; 1" and bless($they),
for $wheels_not_reinvented > 1e9;
13 . qr// and bless($they),
for HTML-time == 0;
14 . insults? ridicule? blessed:
are: you, for time and
effort < theirs;
15 . grep refuser($_), @those ?
(do { not allow flame wars } or
disrepute): yourselves or Monastery;
16 . study well::, $$ = 0 for
grep cool lost, grep flamewar
winner, @men; time < age-of-reason
and 17 . those who suffer thus, do {
consider: like me, close mouth,
select words, carefully, to edify,
to inform };
18 . $_++ for @brothers, @sisters,
restorers-of-faith and $^T = time,
19 . good-syntax and efficient-
algorithms; 20 . eval { $$ref; 1 }
and study, study Perl, study
bless$ed, Perl;
21 . Amen and amen;
##
##
use Carp;
unpack fish, spices;
croak fish if $alive;
study recipe, pop in, time;
BEGIN {meal};
tied %bib;
scalar fish;
fork, split;
sqrt lemon;
glob tartarsauce;
chop, open(MOUTH), chomp;
unlink flesh;
truncate bone, chomp;
untie %bib;
push plate;
END {meal};
sleep now;