my %stuff = ( moo => "cow",
              test => "blue",
              dark => "black",
              white => "light",
              house => "home",
              "all things" => "multi",
              money => "value",
              country => "Well, not Scotland apparently" );

my $whoopdie = $stuff{param("item")} || "NAOAOAOANOOOO!!!";

print "Final Item = $whoopdie";