I realize you were tacitly chastising the OP for what you thought was a poor post. I don't agree that it was all that bad. I think the OP is earnest and has demonstrated a genuine interest in learning Perl. He or she just seems daunted by the basics. And after all, the OP did let us know that he or she is a Perl novice by his or her choice of PerlMonk username.

I was tacitly chastising you right back for the glaring omission in your self-described "poor attempt at humor." You picked on the infrequent case of y's that are one of a pair of consecutive vowels, but you completely missed the case of all vowels with diacritical marks. What about them? What about the possibility of input text in different character encodings, both "legacy" and Unicode? What about Unicode combining characters and Unicode normalization forms? There's much more to say about the definition of "vowel" as any code point that matches the trivial regular expression pattern [AaEeIiOoUu] than what you wrote tauntingly about it in your reply to the OP.