Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by perrin (Chancellor) on Jul 26, 2005 at 15:11 UTC
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Things you do in private and never tell anyone about can't count. It shows that you have the social discretion to realize what you've done is wrong. :)
you can still get the points if you make everyone at work use your new system, and indocrinate all the interns into your "correct" way of using Perl. If you are just going through a Perl rite of passage or trying out a new idea, then no points for you.
I hope people don't see this as a competition. :)
--
brian d foy <brian@stonehenge.com>
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Oh, I definitely made people at work use it! Thankfully it didn't last that long because Template Toolkit became fast enough.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by Solo (Deacon) on Jul 26, 2005 at 14:14 UTC
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What about
? --Solo
--
You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake; well, this could be it, sweetheart.
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Medium points for claiming there is a Possible bug in Perl?
That shouldn't cost points.
For one thing, there are bugs in various perl releases for various platforms. I know, I've submitted bug reports, and had them fixed. Heck, just read some of the Changelogs, or join the developer lists. Perl is good, but it's never been perfect, and probably never will be.
Especially, we as a community shouldn't give people any social disincentive to provide bug reports, even if they're false alarms. Usually, the false alarms are raise about obscure or counter-intutive elements of the design of perl; they're exactly what one would expect people to stumble over.
I'd assign points for claims like this:
- High points for "Perl can't be made readable, by any means"
- Medium points for "Perl is only a scripting language, not a real language"
- High points for "Perl is inherently inferior to language <X>, for every form of programming scenario"
- Medium points for "Perl is not a typed language"
- Low points for "Perl is not object oriented"
- High points for quoting "There's More Than One Way To Do It" in defense of poorly written code
- High points for re-implementing, poorly, a basic perl feature that you didn't know was in the language, such as simulating arrays with an "eval $var$index" type construct
- Very high points for re-implementing, poorly, a basic language feature that you did know was in the language, but disliked, such as replacing recursion with home-made finite state machine, because recursion is "complicated", but managing a list of tasks is "easy". *cough* *former boss* *cough*
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Medium points for claiming there is a Possible bug in Perl?
That shouldn't cost points.
In the spirit of the original CI:
Medium points for claiming there is a Possible bug in Perl (without a good test case)
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Err, I think number 4 should read more like...
4. High points for even mentioning "types" and "perl" in the same sentence.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 26, 2005 at 14:15 UTC
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- Medium points for writing a database abstraction layer.
- Very high points for designing yet another form of pseudo-hashes, clamped hashes or something similar.
- Medium points for yet another, incompatible with the rest of the world, Class:: module.
- Low points for suggesting a "community project" on Perlmonks.
- High points if you don't do anything work on the project you suggest.
- Medium points for suggesting some random functionality needs to be in the Perl core.
- Low points for writing lists like these.
- Low points for each JAPH you've written.
- Medium points for each JAPH you've posted.
- High points if you write articles/books about JAPHs.
- Low points for writing 'Randall'.
- High points for writing 'PERL'.
- High points for thinking Perl is about web programming.
- Medium points for insisting your name is spelled in all lowercase - with a monotyped font.
- Low points for using map or grep in void context.
- Low points for parsing HTML with a regex.
- Low points for checking email addresses with a regex.
- Medium points for not writing something now "because Perl6 will be here soon".
- Medium points for each Perl6 RFC6 rejected by Larry.
- Low points for asking about a Perl IDE.
- Medium points for promoting whatever you use yourself when someone asks about a Perl IDE.
- High points for writing a Perl IDE.
- Very high points for saying you're not a programmer.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by tlm (Prior) on Jul 26, 2005 at 13:48 UTC
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I'm thinking of coding an Inline::C Monstrosity to replace CORE::each with a hash iterator object. (It will be magnificent! I just need to figure out where the ON switch for this thing is...) What does that get me? Am I a crackpot yet? (blink-blink)
Update: Also, to enhance my overall crackpot index, I hereby announce TLM's Dictum: "If you're not a bit of a crackpot, you're not thinking hard enough." Remember, Isaac Newton was heavily into alchemy and astrology! And celibacy!
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Isaac Newton wasn't exactly celibate. He was gay.
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Isaac Newton wasn't exactly celibate. He was gay.
You can be celibate whatever your sexual orientation.
And having recently got off an extended Newton reading jag everybody and their dog seems to have a different opinion on his sexual orientation, but the arguments are all made on damn thin evidence and don't convince (whether it be gay, het, bi or furry :-).
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Isaac Newton wasn't exactly celibate. He was gay.
Celibate people are very frequently (I would even
suggest usually) accused of being
gay. I mean, if he doesn't run after women, it must be
because he's secretly lusting after the men, right?
I think the main reason for this is that most people
just can't imagine that someone would really prefer
to be alone. But believe me, there are those of us
who really prefer, strongly prefer, to be alone.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by Ovid (Cardinal) on Jul 27, 2005 at 03:16 UTC
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- 20 points for naming something after yourself.
Check (though the title of The Ovidian Transform was intended as a joke)
- Low points for mentioning Larry Wall, Damian Conway, or Randal Schwartz
Check
- Medium points for saying "Design pattern"
Check
- Medium points for using source filters without being Damian, or using them in production.
Check
- High points for creating a non-Inline module to make Perl code look like the code from some other language.
Check
- Medium points for writing a database abstraction layer.
Check
- Medium points for suggesting some random functionality needs to be in the Perl core.
Check
- Low points for using map or grep in void context.
Check
- Low points for parsing HTML with a regex.
Check
You may now feel free to disregard anything else I say (well, many do that anyway, possibly with good reason.)
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by CountZero (Bishop) on Jul 26, 2005 at 19:38 UTC
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High points for claiming that you can parse HTML with a single regex (but not showing it as you are all unbelievers anyway).
CountZero "If you have four groups working on a compiler, you'll get a 4-pass compiler." - Conway's Law
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by trammell (Priest) on Jul 26, 2005 at 17:22 UTC
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- Medium points for arguing about the difference between for and foreach
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by Tanktalus (Canon) on Jul 26, 2005 at 15:38 UTC
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Medium points for using source filters without being Damian, or using them in production.
Personally, I'm not entirely sure what that exception is doing there. ;-)
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Which one? Being the Damian, or using them in production?
thor
Feel the white light, the light within
Be your own disciple, fan the sparks of will
For all of us waiting, your kingdom will come
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by thor (Priest) on Jul 26, 2005 at 15:49 UTC
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Very high points for arguing that you don't need strictures or warnings.
I do have to disagree with this one. You don't need either. Granted, I use them in every script that I write that's over 5 lines, but to say that they're needed is going a bit far. You can write perfectly maintainable and understandable code without them.
thor
Feel the white light, the light within
Be your own disciple, fan the sparks of will
For all of us waiting, your kingdom will come
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The question at hand was whether or not strict and warnings were needed. The original bullet point stated another way is "there is no way to write good Perl without using strict and warnings". Since you conceded that it is possible to write good and maintanable Perl without using strict and warnings, the original statement is false. QED.
thor
Feel the white light, the light within
Be your own disciple, fan the sparks of will
For all of us waiting, your kingdom will come
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I think you've missed the point. No one thing is a symptom in itself. Merely saying you don't need strictures or warnings doesn't mean anything. However, if you look at what Perl loons say, this is one of them. It still has to come along with a lot of the other points, as I said in the initial post.
--
brian d foy <brian@stonehenge.com>
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by jdporter (Paladin) on Jul 28, 2005 at 00:27 UTC
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Very good! However, with
Low points for mentioning Larry Wall, Damian Conway, or Randal Schwartz
you've missed the point of the original. This should be
something like:
mentioning "Christianson", "Cousins", or "Dominous".
(I could add "Brian D. Foy", but I don't want to go there... ;-)
Now, how about:
- Arguing that Perl is a strongly typed language.
- Arguing that Perl is a weakly typed language.
- Claiming that Larry Wall doesn't truly understand Perl.
- Arguing that Perl doesn't really have closures.
- Arguing that lexical variables and/or namespaces actually
decrease program robustness.
- Claiming at least partial credit for the GRT.
- Asserting for oneself the license to be rude to newbies due to one's
seniority in the Perl community.
- Claiming that Perl, being interpreted, is inherently less secure
than languages such as Java.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by demerphq (Chancellor) on Jul 28, 2005 at 00:02 UTC
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High points for rewriting a replacement for a core piece of Perl technology.
Hmm. Am I a crackpot for writing Data::Dump::Streamer?
---
$world=~s/war/peace/g
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by kutsu (Priest) on Jul 26, 2005 at 19:39 UTC
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Very High points - arguing about which is better Vim or Emacs, or assuming that there are no other editors beside Vim or Emacs.
High because it's truly a flame war/holy war, Very because it doesn't actually have anything to do with perl.
"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." Ambrose Bierce
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by DrHyde (Prior) on Jul 27, 2005 at 09:30 UTC
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Low points for using XML when unnecessary - ie, when XML is not forced upon you by some external system.
Medium points for using SOAP or XMLRPC when unnecessary.
High points for catching SIGSEGV. Even more points if you have a test case for this signal handler which doesn't use kill :-) | [reply] [Watch: Dir/Any] [d/l] |
Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by pbeckingham (Parson) on Jul 29, 2005 at 14:52 UTC
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by jonadab (Parson) on Jul 27, 2005 at 12:40 UTC
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Lots of points for designing a new CGI parser.
Check. I rolled my own CGI system because it was
easy and the one most people were advocating
(namely, CGI.pm) was horrible.
Very high points for arguing that you don't need strictures or warnings.
Need? Warnings come in pretty handy, although I
do wish I could selectively shut off certain ones.
I only use strictures when I'm writing a module
that will get re-used by multiple programs. I
certainly don't *need* either of them.
From Anonymous Monk's list...
Low points for "Perl is not object oriented"
How about, "Perl5's OO isn't very good, but
Perl6 will fix it"?
Medium points for writing a database abstraction layer.
I've done that. It was a very simple one (basically,
it had subs for retrieve(), add(), change(),
find(), and so forth, all of which dealt with
hashrefs. I've since started using Class::DBI
instead, mainly because it's more standardized
(in the sense that I'm not the only one who uses
it), although in a couple of ways my system was
better. Among other things, with my handrolled
system, you didn't have to change the code if
you added a field to a table, except if you wanted
to do something with that field, of course.
(It didn't do everything Class::DBI does, though;
for instance, it didn't even think about cascading
deletes. But, I don't need cascading deletes...)
Medium points for suggesting some random functionality needs to be in the Perl core.
The functionality provided by DateTime absolutely
should be in core.
# Low points for each JAPH you've written.
# Medium points for each JAPH you've posted.
Lost count long ago.
Low points for using map or grep in void context.
I've done that.
Low points for parsing HTML with a regex.
At one point I attempted to parse (a subset of)
XML with a regex. Well, not fully parse, just
enough to determine where to insert a certain
element. Does that count? What if I tweaked
the regex several times in response to bug
reports before I gave it
up and ended up using XML::Twig to solve the
problem?
Medium points for not writing something now "because Perl6 will be here soon".
I've done that. There's a particular functionality
that Emacs has, that I'd like to have in Perl, but
I am not willing to implement it in Perl5, because
the object model just doesn't provide the features
I need to make it easy enough to be worth doing.
But the Perl6 OO model will make it much easier...
Medium points for promoting whatever you use yourself when someone asks about a Perl IDE.
Emacs, of course.
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The functionality provided by DateTime absolutely should be in core.
Eek, no! The DT stuff needs to keep up with leap second and time zone change announcements, so it needs its own release schedule. We'd have to figure out a way to release data packages separately from what's in the core.
Of course, in theory, I can see why this should be in the core, just because it's the kind of low-level data type that you want for programming.
But given how easy CPAN is to use, is it really a big barrier? I think the big problem, as usual, is that there's lots of similar stuff to wade through. Fortunately, DateTime seems to have enough of a following these days that every time there's a datetime programming question, at least one respondent says "use DateTime", so the word is out.
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by chas (Priest) on Jul 27, 2005 at 10:41 UTC
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"Low points for writing a book published by WROX, or has "Dummies" or "Idiot's" in the title."
Any points for liking a WROX book? (I enjoyed "Professional Perl Programming" by Peter Wainwright et all.)
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by extremely (Priest) on Aug 05, 2005 at 18:56 UTC
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One of my favorites from years ago that I heard again recently:
- medium points for insisting on a perl-only gif/png/jpeg image system.
- high points for announcing you are starting work on one.
--
$you = new YOU;
honk() if $you->love(perl)
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by BUU (Prior) on Jul 27, 2005 at 01:12 UTC
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by zentara (Archbishop) on Jul 27, 2005 at 12:31 UTC
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High points for "2 -finger typing". By the way, my best work is done on Crack and Pot.
I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth.
flash japh
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by punkish (Priest) on Aug 07, 2005 at 03:18 UTC
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Very, very high points for using Perl (from the perspective of Python users)
Update:
>>Medium points for reorganizing CPAN into an "Enterprise Perl".
Check. Suggested something like that be done
--
when small people start casting long shadows, it is time to go to bed
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Re: The Perl Crackpot Index
by blazar (Canon) on Jul 27, 2005 at 09:00 UTC
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Medium points for being Ingy.
Just how many for being moronzilla?!?
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