Because I didn't RTFM, because I reinvented the wheel, because I used a bunch of shoddy workarounds, because yes that is a magic number, because that comment made sense ten versions ago but now it's just confusing gibberish and I'm to lazy to update it, because I didn't properly use Google or PM Super Search, because I didn't indent properly, because I used "or/and" instead of "||/&&", because I told myself "I'll clean that up later", because I didn't properly listen and understand what the other monks told me, because I decided to do it quickly instead of correctly, and because I stubbornly refused to learn how to use the module that would just do that correctly for me every time in favor of doing the code equivalent of insisting on screwing together IKEA furniture using a coin from my pocket just so I don't have to walk 10 feet to the closet to get a screwdriver...

...Oh, yes, and because I'm an idiot. :-)

Don't forget that famous saying: The road to hell is paved with that's just a throwaway script

Voted "They just keep finding better idiots", because I eat my own dogfood and find myself being a better idiot than I was before way too often.

Please, a little respect... for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots. :-)

Just another Perl hooker - My clients appreciate that I keep my code clean but my comments dirty.

... but surely enough a new contender is always just around the corner

- I drank too much beer whilst writing it

I voted for "I'm an idiot".

You just need to do another Raspberry Pi project that combines a blood alcohol sensor and intravenous drip controller such that each person who uses it, including yourself, can properly tune it to maintain their specific Ballmer Peak. :-)

Just another Perl hooker - My clients appreciate that I keep my code clean but my comments dirty.

That's a *brilliant* idea! I love coding for new, random sensors and ICs.

To that end: "Your Amazon.ca order of "2" x OSEPP MQ-3 Alcohol Gas Sensor Module".

Can I drive? *blows into device* ... "nope!"

Can I code? *blows into device* ... "although the inability to stand doesn't preclude you from coding, you might really piss off your collaborators if you do!"

- I drank too much beer the night before

I also voted for "I'm an idiot".

Clearly, you haven't yet found the Ballmer Peak. (gratuitous xkcd link)

Hahaha literally as I'm writing the backend C code for the new Perl Breathalyzer.

Want to get it done in time for my family visitors near Christmas. I'm going to throw a quick Dancer2 wrapper around it, and have a display on a TV with <insert random way of displaying the results in a silly method> visual appearance.

Accuracy will be directly related to my BAC as I'm finalizing the mathematics within the C code.

• Komments in gebroken Englisch

Ha! My vote only adds to the obvious leader. Coders must be humble.

signed, A Humble Idiot

Or, only humble coders answer the poll because it requires admitting your code is broken.

The conclusion would then be: Humble coders are idiots

I was typing in the wrong language - in my case, I spend far too much time trying to write Perl when my brain is outputting VBA. My variant on "I'm an idiot".

Regards,

John Davies

There are so far 25 comments (08/11/2018) and already 9 counts of the word i-d-i-o-t.

While the vote tally gives "I am an idiot" more than a third of the votes, and to "they just keep finding better idiots [than me presumably]" only a twentieth of the votes.

I have for a few minutes contemplated if this site was instead called PoliceMonks, BankMonks or even SportfanMonks, each founded by and dedicated to the corresponding, namesake group of fellow human beings. It looks to me that the count of "I am an idiot" would be an absolute zero.

p.s. In escaping an open-square-bracket I used &#091;. Lazy to look the reference again, I guessed that &#092; would be its closing counterpart. But I guessed wrong, it is &#093;. Someone is an idiot.

"they just keep finding better idiots [than me presumably]"

It's a reference to the quote "If you make something idiot-proof, someone will just make a better idiot." So it's either someone stupid beyond what you can yourself be, or stupid beyond the idiots you have encountered so far

About the ] thing. It only needs to be escaped when it comes after a [ so as long as the left bracket is properly escaped, the right one can be bare.

thanks for the info. Even an idiot can learn one new thing every day! generally speaking...

Too bad those are radio buttons and not checkboxes because I get bitten all the time by several of those cases.

• Spec is broken
  Our naming convention that must be followed is... and a week later I find a host that violates the naming convention.
• Doc is broken
  Here are the packages this application is dependent on. And they left out (no exaggeration here) 25 other dependencies and the dependencies the dependencies had.
• They keep inventing an upgraded idiot.

Wisdom says: A programmer is a machine that turns coffee into code.

Last month they disabled the coffee-machine on our floor - we are all doomed!

Dilbert

• Instant coffee
• Canned coffee
• Pocket coffee
• Chocolate-covered_coffee bean *

Cheers Rolf
_{(addicted to the Perl Programming Language :)
Wikisyntax for the Monastery FootballPerl is like chess, only without the dice}

*) Careful! I once mistook them as just coffee flavoured and snacked them without thinking while coding. Unfortunately I had to meet my boss later.

A vague and approximative search showed a dose of twice as much caffeine in 1g of chocolate coffee beans as in 1g of espresso. But now I'm curious about how it turned out. Did you fail to fall asleep mid-meating, therefore ruining your plan to complain about how much work you have to do?