Any chance of something that would tell me what my friends were holding?

Seriously: you may be able to verify statistics from some of the existing poker research.

Where you classify hand, you may be able to optimise this further (this may only make a trivial increase in speed):

1. A pair can't be a flush or a straight so don't do flush processing (in a 5 or 6 card deck, TK in a 7 card deck)
2. Conversely (it may be faster to iterate through flush processing (4 suits vs 13 cards) first but flushes are less frequent than pairs...

Very, very cool. Easy to read and I'm going to snaffle the parameter passing/initialisation for my next script. Thanks for posting this.

Be careful when you go to Vegas ;-)