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in reply to decoupling processes via queues: advice wanted

You´re not to clear on why you want to do it. If you´re having problems with your current implementation you might want to investigate the cause. Under the assumption that decoupling indeed is a good idea:

Sounds to me like you want a message queue. I would not try to implement functionality like this yourself. My experience is limited to MQ Series (nowadays called WebSphere MQ). If I understand correctly Oracle Advanced Queuing is a similar product. So this is one alternative to research.

Instead of going for broke it might be wise to do a small proof of concept. Messaging is not a silver bullet. I don´t know Oracle AQ, I assume you have to spend money on it. There are several free/open source products on the market. See Message queue for somepointers. I advice to do a small PoC to see if it will work for you