Man, I could go for a PerlMonks T-shirt. Actually, I would like to be walking down the street and see someone with a PerlMonks T-shirt on.

While I'm dreaming, I want to be a Viking.

...A rich Viking

...with a boat.

...not some crappy wooden Viking boat either. I want I big boat like them rap guys on the MTV.

But then I'd have to get a slip for it and store it through the winter in the marina, which is big bucks. And I'd always be scrubbing barnicles instead of plundering. All my little Viking kids (Leif, Erik, Thor, Freya, etc.) would always be bugging me to take them for a ride around the bay, and then they'd use the boat for teenage beer blasts, for which I'd get in trouble (for supplying booze to minors). Then the cops would take away my boat as evidence. Sure I'd try to plunder the cops, but of course, I'd have hocked my sword for the slip at the marina. And what the heck is a Viking without a boat and a sword? Nothing, that's what. Nothing.

Maybe I'd just like a T-shirt...