My Code of Ethics:
ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL GO WRONG.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an incoming train.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
Everyone had a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
The other line always moves faster.
Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
The repairman will never have seen a model like yours before.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST