If you still think it's necessary to please a few logic-impaired visitors, use the php system but change the file extensions to .pl, they'll never know ;-).

Very sneaky ... I like it ;) I'll keep that in mind.

Managers weren't an issue here, and it would have been easy to keep the php system if it were just "a few irrational visitors". I received so many emails complaining about it, I simply couldn't keep up.