#!/usr/bin/perl -w

my %triggers = (
    'You are (\\w+).' => 'Your status is: $1',
);

my $buff = "You are fired!";

foreach my $trigger ( keys ( %triggers ) ) {
    if ( my @captures = $buff =~ /$trigger/ ) {
        # $1 == $captures[0], ..etc
        my $response = $triggers{$trigger};
        $response =~ s/\$([0-9]+)/$captures[$1-1]/g; 
        print $response;
    }
}
print "\n";